Tonight is there gonna be war...? hmm.. actually, sometimes when i think back how these 5 months plus went, It seemed like yesterday because, seriously it was easier and smoother and the last and it really make me think that a good relationship would be a brisk and phew... in a blink of an eye, it just seemed like it was yesterday. Hmm..I realised that somethings changed this week.. i dunno if its just because u r sick and I am thinking too much or simply, i feel that theres lots of changes...

Eg. You  stop drop me an sms to say gd morning?  You get agitated easily? You flare at me twice this week? Even though I am having a hard time during this exam periods too... and yah. sometimes i wished you'll just send me an sms saying all the best for your exams. but.. i just din receive any from u today.. when i really hope u did send me one.

I was unwell, even though of skipping my exams but decided not to because im afraid that my re-sit would be way tougher.

I really cannot remember why we quarrel yesterday! I was just so upset dat i went to sleep straight away. but hahahaa the good thing that makes me always happy is that: i have a bad memory esp to bad things.

Though i know for sure tonite we are gonna quarrel. I hope that we can still talk things through nicely.

Maybe honeymoon periods over and.. we are starting to see the bad sides of each other more and your tolerance level is dropping? Some words of urs are harsh and not pleasing but ok. maybe its time we  change things here....

Seriously.. I duno y up to now right... u'll make me think... that somehow one day u'll get sick of me.... duno y... but maybe.... now u r starting to get sick of me? thats y u flared twice this week over small stuff... nvm....

Overall... haix. I can feel that you r very upset and I.....Wish today will not be israel war, just japanese occupation.... =/

2 more days and im done w my exams, i hate having the feeling that my next paper is in 2 days yet all i wanna do is talk to u.. but.. haix. u get upset. ok i know u r sick so.... i wun blame u. though im a little sad. haix. ok. back to studying. we'll talk when u get better.....

I hate the feeling of always being stuck at home and only going out for a gasp of air during lunch time?
I miss the days when im having school just for half a day and then im back home slacking around...
I hate staying at home because, mum always say im stupid, she is starting to hate me... and all those nasty words... I even wonder... y is she my mum? can i vote for another mum here? Can i come out from another hole? haix.....

It is damn obvious that she is biased.... From the way she cleans up the whole house except my room today... from the way.. paul gets to eat 2 plates of duck rice and when i say i wanna share a bit she say no... he needs to eat more and in the end.. he cannot finish... and say.. u wan my leftovers? WTF. seriously. im not a begger and i don't like to eat people's leftovers. cannot finish, separate it out from the start...! She thinks that her son is the dearest and most precious thing and her daughter is nothing but trouble for her? Why.. this is so unfair.! I wish.. i can just come out of another hole or...just smack her and let her realise that ....... by saying such nasty stuff will only make me dislike her and hate her one day...... its building up.. especially when she is such a pest and forever shouting around in the house like some barbaric women from the woods.... and never even show some concern when I am studying by just simply letting me study in PEACE!  Yes, paul is in trouble because he only PASSEd one subject when he is in normal academic.... and seriously.. if he doesn't buck up, he is going to normal technical and dad is going to slaughter him... and think about it.. HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE HAVING EXAMS!!!! i am having one this coming MONDAY! Doesn't mean dat now i will study hard by myself.. means u can start forcing me to do millions of stuff and say.. i have time to always study later... MUM... seriously..the TV's noise sounds better than ur shouting and nagging... EVERYTHING SOUNDS BETTER THAN UR VOICE so.... pls. STFU!

hahahhaaa im so glad that today i can poke u back. i seriously think dat this month of... ears training has helped me well. now i can sift away your noise and really never hear a single thing u say... see.... its because... I really think u r fucking noisy and i dun wan to hear another word from u...... haix.... I wish one day.. i can have peace.... but.. when will that day come? i wonder.

like, loves, hates

I like it when u take effort to hong me. coz it shows that im important to u and u care....
I hate it when u never call or sms me at all when i say... "don't call or sms me tmr" out of anger and what i meant was totally the opposite.
I like it when u hug me in my favourite posture
I hate it when u just hide on bed hugging a bolster and showing me black face.
I love it when u smile and tell me i love u
I hate it when u are upset and show me a dejected face

Loves and hates....

At this moment, i only know... that i love u and being with u, has been the happiest thing that happened to me thus far. =)

This is part of my growing up.....

Looking back on those days, it was kinda fun. It was a pure and simple time we shared.  Sometimes I wished that time can just turn back time. At least, I would have handled things better than I did... I wished I din waiver from the start.

It was really not fated to be and I'm glad that now, more than 1 year has past and we can still stand here as friends. somehow.?

I wish I din meet u. coz, u are the stain in my life. You've dig a hole in my heart and no matter how I try to recover, there is still a hole there.

It is not easy to stand where I am now. But sometimes I kinda feel that it is good to have gone thru these much before I turned 21. 

Now that you are part of my life. I wish that this can last forever...