sadness.

Loving you, was really a decision that i'll never regret. Im really sorry for breaking all of my promises to you. I really can see your love... your sincerity.... 50 calls...? i know... but why is at the point of time when i've decided to let you go.... why.... why did it not come earlier, when i was always waiting for you to call, for you turn up at my door steps.... you never did.

Yes, you could be the man that knows me the best, inside out... but this time, u really did make a wrong decision. Causing you to lose 3 jobs? im really sorry.... its really a sacrifice, maybe no other man will ever do it for me ever...

But, u also know, your cow temper... really... i have one too, but...how... we are just too clashy. U know, for us to be together is really tough. Parents, character, thinking... all tells me... hey... dead end. no path for us to walk on. For these 5 months, i tried to fight and contruct that path, but....really, to no avail. Quarrelling every few days is really no joke. u not tired, i tired. I know u could be more stressed than i am, for the fact that you have debts to clear. But.... really... i duno, i really am going to get depression if these continues... coz all i do when i see u, i think of u, i talk to u... is cry... tear..... maybe its because i was really sincere and really loved u deeply.

Now, i've found a man who brings me joy all day, i'm glad that you give us your wishes, really....

Im really sad my meatball is dying... i hope that he'll survive this ordeal.

No matter what, you will be my best friend forever, coz till date, u really know me the best, i shake my backside and u know what i want...... really hard to find such a friend anymore.

fimy~

today, i decided to open my white tiger!

Today, my cleaning auntie commented that i have too many soft toys on my bed.. hahahahhaa...

Decided to remove the plastic out of my white tiger paw soft toy that i bought from korea.

Hugging it, really makes me feel like im still in Everland. Love the idea of going to theme parks man.... though im really afraid of the roller coaster rides and always get cold feet when i am about to board it, but i still love the excitement and thrilling feel.

Going to the themepark has always been a favourite, because, it really gives me the feeling of being young once again and it really helps me to forget all the pain and unhappiness that i am going through....

Paul is having fever from extracting 2 teeth yesterday. I'll be doing my braces soon too... will i also have fever when that time comes?

The last fever i had, really was very memorable. Though my fever went on for nearly a week, but.... i was feeling very comforted coz, he was by my side all the time. Knowing that he works nearby and will come to my rescue anytime. plus his comforting breakfast, lunches made my fever less painful and toleratable.....

Thinking back on those times, i am really glad that he was by my side.

but now, I have a new man by my side, im sure he'll be times more caring than the previous man....

lolx. i should really stop talking about the previous man..... i should get him totally erased from my mind and heart.... thinking of him one more second will not change the fact that everything is over and done with.

ok hahahahA!

i'll go cook paul' porridge now! i'm be meeting my new man later.... lolx. =DDDDDDD anticipation.

gonna have a gd time tonight!

smiles~